Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
