I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
