in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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