I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
