you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
