Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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