i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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