i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
