I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we should paint friendship bongs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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