I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
