don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
