Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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