We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
