no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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