I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
