lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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