He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
