you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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