break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize