she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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