That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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