You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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