Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize