i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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