Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize