The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize