I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
