Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.