i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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