Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
