She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize