Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
