remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fuck appropriateness.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
