I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
