its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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