all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
