Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
