Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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