ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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