the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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