Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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