i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
