its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize