party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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