I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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