I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
