Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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