What did we do last night that was yellow?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
