Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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