God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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