There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
