It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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