I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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