drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
