we have officially lost it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
