i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
