so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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