I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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