just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
