If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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