So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
