just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
